Another Colonoscopy

I was happily enjoying my '3 month break' from seeing any consultants and not having and scans. At my last appointment in March the oncologist said we needed to 'wait and see' and that he would see me in 3 months.  It was already March so 3 months meant it would be June before I would be called back in for a colonoscopy. I was starting to relax and enjoy those few months without having to worry about all the shit that's been going on.

I missed a phone call a few days ago.  The call was withheld. When I noticed the missed call, my stomach did a huge, horrible flip because the only calls I get on my mobile that are withheld are from the hospital. What could they want?  I tried to tell myself it could be a cold call but needless to say I worried about it all night. I couldn't ring back as I had no idea who had called or what department.

I didn't have long to wait.  The following morning at 9 O clock the withheld call arrived again. It was the hospital wanting to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. I assumed they were ringing early for a June appointment but no, they wanted me to go in on Monday which was only 4 days away. The familiar panic started. Why? Had the oncologist looked at my scans and spotted something else? I explained to the receptionist that I had been told it would be 3 months before I was called in. She got a bit arsy and said she was only doing what the letter from my oncologist had said.  I couldn't do Monday. Apart from anything else, I was a bit concerned that the Prep they send in the post wouldn't arrive on time. I explained I'd got pre arranged stuff I couldn't get out of on Sunday. She didn't like that either and in hindsight, I wish I had just taken the appointment. Instead, it was made for the following Monday.

I rang the cancer nurses as soon as I could thinking that a mistake had been made and they wold just take over and say they would cancel the appointment and not to worry.  This wasn't the case though.  They said they felt the reason I had been called in was because my last colonoscopy was in January meaning the three month appointment was actually April.  The oncologist had definitely said 'see you in 3 months' so I couldn't accept this but I didn't say anything.

I'm already worried by it all.  I actually think that the worry must get worse with each appointment.  My ability to overthink things kicked in from the missed phone call and I've really been overthinking everything ever since. I'm not sure what a colonoscopy 6 weeks after an MRI will show.

My new found freedom didn't last very long.. I'm back on the treadmill.